So....as usual, we have a lot of "potty issues" here at our house. Here's the latest from the "Gillespie's disgustingly smelling potty house from HE_ _."
Cael is now showing an interest in potty training. He randomly decides he wants to sit on the toilet. Nothing serious but it will be coming soon, I am sure. Yes, we should be somewhat excited. But we aren't. You see......we already have one "potty trained" child (cough, cough) who stuggles to use the bathroom on his own accord..........that is unless it is in his underpants. He does a right fine job of that. Best I've ever seen. So..............we are not so thrilled, we should be.... but we are not, for #2 to begin his own quest to conquer toilet training. I never thought I would say this but...............I LOVE DIAPERS.
So.......Rob and I, in a quest of our own, to combat previously mentioned accidents of child #1, have started a "dry chart" for Gabe. For every day he stays dry during the week (as in no leaks, no wet spot on the clothes and definitely no puddles on the floor), he gets 5 minutes of "Star Wars Legos" time with Rob on the X-box. It's one of his most FAVORITE things. It is something he looks forward to EVERY Saturday and now he can earn up to 35 minutes of playing time. Also, with every 30 days he stays dry he will get to choose a special "big boy" activity such as a night out with Mom or Dad, going to get a special treat, or renting a movie.
So far so good. 3 days dry.....and counting. The poor kid just needs a bit of positive reinforcement which, judging from this oh-so-long dry spell, seems to go quite far with him. (You would think Rob and I would catch on to that.......but seriously, after all the screaming, spanking and life dictating we do,.....who has time for positive reinforcement?).
And last on our long list of "potty talk" comes the clincher......the icing on the cake.......the................"thing" to top of all "THINGS"..........
Yesterday afternoon I was putting Cael down for a nap. I glanced in their closet and noticed something strange. The clear, plastic storage container that usually houses their stuffed animals was empty.....well, not quite empty.....but there were NO animals in it. Baffled, I got closer and closer. "What is that in there?" For the life of me I couldn't figure it out. Something liquid that had formed two puddles......something yellow.........I picked up the bucket and the realization of it all hit me just as the putrid stench did. (So I'm thinking to myself, Oh no.......this cannot be happening. My boys would NEVER do a thing like this..........I'm pretty sure I have drilled it into their little heads that their very lives would hang on a tread if they ever did something like this).
Cael pipes up, "Gabe did it."
"ROBERT GABRIEL __________, GET YOU BOTTOM OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!"
We won't go into too much detail of what was said or done at this point..........Although, I am very proud of myself.....I did refrain from beating him......in fact, I didn't even spank him.......I was too busy screaming at him.
I marched his bottom straight up the stair and made him scrub........and when I say scrub, I mean SCRUB, the storage container in the bathtub until I could see my reflection in it (under my ever patient tutilage, of course).
Rob said the conversation from the bathroom reminded him of last weeks episode of "The Biggest Loser" when Bob Harper blew up at that Joelle lady ("I'm doing my best..........NO YOU ARE NOT............yes I am.................NO YOU ARE NOT............YOU CAN DO BETTER SO DON'T EVEN SAY THAT TO ME.................I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.......etc, etc..............Sniff, Sniff, Sniff.................NOW DO IT.................DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES JUST DO IT!). (Makes me right proud..............I love Bob Harper.)
Anyway.....back to the story.
When he was done I sent him back to "quiet time" (which, if you can imagine, was not all that quiet up to that point) and told him that we would discuss the consequences for his actions later and that if I even heard a peep from him in the next hour I would go "all out freak nasty" on him. Silence prevailed....I didn't hear a word.
Mad, did I ever need time to cool down.......otherwise he would have been on his way to "Boot Camp for pants dropping urine offenders" long before dinner.
I dont get it. I just don't get it. Is there that much difference between the XX and the XY? What the heck posesses these nasty, disgusting, little boys do pull down their pants and mark their territory anywhere they please (Thankfully it was in a plastic container instead of down the heater vent..dripping from the ceiling below, like my brother little boy). What is wrong with these kids. The're ANIMALS...........Just like animals...............
On that note, I failed to mention that I gave Gabe a lesson on "housebreaking" rules for dogs. I told him if he wanted to act like a dog, he would be treated like a dog. Then, I vowed to him that if he EVER did ANYTHING like that again I would rub his face in it, lead him to the bathroom, scratch his hands on the potty, and place him on top of it so he would be able to "remember" where it is that our urine belongs.
So, let's all just pray for Gabe's sake that he is smart enough to keep "it" where "it" belongs because I WILL follow through.......I ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH (In fact, one time my mom told me that she was glad that I am always so good to follow through but "cringes" sometimes when I threated because she KNOWS I will follow through no matter how rediculous the threat is.)
So... we survived the ordeal......more importantly, Gabe survived the ordeal.
Today he was assigned to scrubbing both toilets as a consequence for his actions (under my ever patient tutilage again). He actually enjoyed it and asked if he could help me EVERY time I have to clean the toilets. (I hate it when that happens.......a consequence is not a consequence unless it hurts. Without the nashing and whailing of teeth.....and at least a tear or two, what good is it? NONE I TELL YOU!)
LITTLE BOYS ARE JUST DISGUSTING............and so far, I HAVE THREE!
I'm just not sure we are all going to make it through their childhoods. I just don't handle violations to the sanitation or smell of my home very well.
What's a girl to do?
Cael is now showing an interest in potty training. He randomly decides he wants to sit on the toilet. Nothing serious but it will be coming soon, I am sure. Yes, we should be somewhat excited. But we aren't. You see......we already have one "potty trained" child (cough, cough) who stuggles to use the bathroom on his own accord..........that is unless it is in his underpants. He does a right fine job of that. Best I've ever seen. So..............we are not so thrilled, we should be.... but we are not, for #2 to begin his own quest to conquer toilet training. I never thought I would say this but...............I LOVE DIAPERS.
So.......Rob and I, in a quest of our own, to combat previously mentioned accidents of child #1, have started a "dry chart" for Gabe. For every day he stays dry during the week (as in no leaks, no wet spot on the clothes and definitely no puddles on the floor), he gets 5 minutes of "Star Wars Legos" time with Rob on the X-box. It's one of his most FAVORITE things. It is something he looks forward to EVERY Saturday and now he can earn up to 35 minutes of playing time. Also, with every 30 days he stays dry he will get to choose a special "big boy" activity such as a night out with Mom or Dad, going to get a special treat, or renting a movie.
So far so good. 3 days dry.....and counting. The poor kid just needs a bit of positive reinforcement which, judging from this oh-so-long dry spell, seems to go quite far with him. (You would think Rob and I would catch on to that.......but seriously, after all the screaming, spanking and life dictating we do,.....who has time for positive reinforcement?).
And last on our long list of "potty talk" comes the clincher......the icing on the cake.......the................"thing" to top of all "THINGS"..........
Yesterday afternoon I was putting Cael down for a nap. I glanced in their closet and noticed something strange. The clear, plastic storage container that usually houses their stuffed animals was empty.....well, not quite empty.....but there were NO animals in it. Baffled, I got closer and closer. "What is that in there?" For the life of me I couldn't figure it out. Something liquid that had formed two puddles......something yellow.........I picked up the bucket and the realization of it all hit me just as the putrid stench did. (So I'm thinking to myself, Oh no.......this cannot be happening. My boys would NEVER do a thing like this..........I'm pretty sure I have drilled it into their little heads that their very lives would hang on a tread if they ever did something like this).
Cael pipes up, "Gabe did it."
"ROBERT GABRIEL __________, GET YOU BOTTOM OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!"
We won't go into too much detail of what was said or done at this point..........Although, I am very proud of myself.....I did refrain from beating him......in fact, I didn't even spank him.......I was too busy screaming at him.
I marched his bottom straight up the stair and made him scrub........and when I say scrub, I mean SCRUB, the storage container in the bathtub until I could see my reflection in it (under my ever patient tutilage, of course).
Rob said the conversation from the bathroom reminded him of last weeks episode of "The Biggest Loser" when Bob Harper blew up at that Joelle lady ("I'm doing my best..........NO YOU ARE NOT............yes I am.................NO YOU ARE NOT............YOU CAN DO BETTER SO DON'T EVEN SAY THAT TO ME.................I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.......etc, etc..............Sniff, Sniff, Sniff.................NOW DO IT.................DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES JUST DO IT!). (Makes me right proud..............I love Bob Harper.)
Anyway.....back to the story.
When he was done I sent him back to "quiet time" (which, if you can imagine, was not all that quiet up to that point) and told him that we would discuss the consequences for his actions later and that if I even heard a peep from him in the next hour I would go "all out freak nasty" on him. Silence prevailed....I didn't hear a word.
Mad, did I ever need time to cool down.......otherwise he would have been on his way to "Boot Camp for pants dropping urine offenders" long before dinner.
I dont get it. I just don't get it. Is there that much difference between the XX and the XY? What the heck posesses these nasty, disgusting, little boys do pull down their pants and mark their territory anywhere they please (Thankfully it was in a plastic container instead of down the heater vent..dripping from the ceiling below, like my brother little boy). What is wrong with these kids. The're ANIMALS...........Just like animals...............
On that note, I failed to mention that I gave Gabe a lesson on "housebreaking" rules for dogs. I told him if he wanted to act like a dog, he would be treated like a dog. Then, I vowed to him that if he EVER did ANYTHING like that again I would rub his face in it, lead him to the bathroom, scratch his hands on the potty, and place him on top of it so he would be able to "remember" where it is that our urine belongs.
So, let's all just pray for Gabe's sake that he is smart enough to keep "it" where "it" belongs because I WILL follow through.......I ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH (In fact, one time my mom told me that she was glad that I am always so good to follow through but "cringes" sometimes when I threated because she KNOWS I will follow through no matter how rediculous the threat is.)
So... we survived the ordeal......more importantly, Gabe survived the ordeal.
Today he was assigned to scrubbing both toilets as a consequence for his actions (under my ever patient tutilage again). He actually enjoyed it and asked if he could help me EVERY time I have to clean the toilets. (I hate it when that happens.......a consequence is not a consequence unless it hurts. Without the nashing and whailing of teeth.....and at least a tear or two, what good is it? NONE I TELL YOU!)
LITTLE BOYS ARE JUST DISGUSTING............and so far, I HAVE THREE!
I'm just not sure we are all going to make it through their childhoods. I just don't handle violations to the sanitation or smell of my home very well.
What's a girl to do?
15 comments:
Oh, that you could be so naive....hahahahahahahaha!!! It's not just the boys although we have had one number one in the heating vent in his room, but the girls have done it too. Try the kittie box when the kittie lived inside the house (he has peeing problems too which is why he is outside) and in the garbage can in their room. Boys don't hold the monopoly on icky-ness. Not by a long shot.
BTW, the lego starwars thing worked wonders for Kiril. He was allowed to play on weekends if he didn't have any warnings at school. It's worked pretty good so far.
but seriously, after all the screaming, spanking and life dictating we do,.....who has time for positive reinforcement?
Oh Mel, you crack me up!
Potty training is HORRIBLE! BUT - when they do get it and you're not changing their diapers at 15, you'll be glad you did it.
Melanie, you crack me up. I am visualizing a little child hearing that their mom will go freak nasty on them, and I just picture the horror gabe had, because he is probably the only kid who knows that is a SERIOUS threat, you are so funny! I know it must be crazy to have to deal with it, I am not looking forward to it, but you will get through it, keep the faith!
Melanie, I love you! I love reading your blog, cause I always get in a good chuckle. I am glad that so many have gone through potty training boys before me. Xander will sit on the potty for 20 minutes and do nothing. The moment I take him off and go to put a diaper on him, he pees on the carpet. It has happened a few times. Right now, both boys have a bad case of the Rocky Mountain Quick Steps and I really, really wished they were potty trained!
Ew! I'll have to have a constant watch on Hudson peeing in the heater vents! SICK! Lucky for me, we're not at that point yet.... I'm SO not looking forward to it. Although, Logan was really easy to train because he hates to be wet when he's supposed to be dry. Hailey was alot harder to potty train. So.... Hudson could go either way.... I'M SCARED!
I love how Cael yelled out "GABE DID IT!" LOL That's true brotherly love for ya!
I feel for ya babe! :)
All I can say...Is Mel you crack me up! I love reading your posts! I seriously get such a good laugh. Good luck with the potty training! wink wink. :)
See ya tonight! I am totally going to win most Bunco's!
Funny, funny, funny. Garry even got a good chuckly. It is wonderful that you can post it in good humor!
Mel, Mel. You'll find that kids do what they can get away with, no matter their gender. Good job with the smack down--he'll remember and maybe be more creative about where he leaves his markings in the future (watch your potted plants, etc.). Oh, the joys of parenthood. Stories like these are the best birth control ever! Love you! Hang in there.
Mel, Mel. You'll find that kids do what they can get away with, no matter their gender. Good job with the smack down--he'll remember and maybe be more creative about where he leaves his markings in the future (watch your potted plants, etc.). Oh, the joys of parenthood. Stories like these are the best birth control ever! Love you! Hang in there.
Haaaa! What to say, you are so funny! Boys, what will they do next. Loving the legos ethan cries to play star wars and batman with jared. It is get no blood just legos!
I am with you though just forget potty training he will be ok with diapers in kindergarten!
I am such a loser! Philip didn't have school monday and so it threw me off, I honestly forgot yesterday was tuesday! And I was having a pregnant-hormonal day and so I was literally sitting in the basement pouting and stuffing my face because I hadn't left the house for days. huh, maybe I could have left the house last night! I am such a big dork, I feel really bad I missed it!
Just like everyone else said, I was laughing so hard when I read this! Especially the Bob part. I'm sure it was not funny at the time. I hate Potty training. So far Logan sits on his little potty once in a while and pees, but he won't take any bribe to sit on the big one. Not even cookies! (They are his favorite) Oh, well, we can't make them pee. I'll just wait and see.
I hope this new thing works for Gabe. He's such a cute kid. (Summer still has accidents once in a while too. Whaddia do?)
My 2 1/2 girl is still very much interested in diapers. What happens when she's too big for size 6? Maybe I can buy adult diapers in Costco sized boxes, eh?
you poor girl!! Ahhh, I can't imagine what i would do if I found that! Let's hope for your sake it never happens again!! But I must say that I lOVE reading your posts!! You always crack me up. I can really just hear your voice in the way you write!! Hope the potty stuff gets better around there for you!!
wow! that would drive me crazy! glad i have a girl... ha ha. p.s. we LOVE bob to, couldn't believe how bad he flipped at joelle!
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