18.5 weeks and counting

I suppose I could have settled for just "18 weeks" in the title but why would I do that?  I'm going to count every second of every day I've bypassed with this pregnancy.  It's a great accomplishment, yes?

Anyhow....thought I'd post a few more pics.  For posterity (and curiosity's) sake.  No worries, the dirty mirrors are also part of it.  These types of things MUST be documented for future generations.

 
And, also for posterity's sake, proof that I do actually shower and get dressed every once in a while (despite what MOST of my children's memories will most likely recall someday).

 P.S.  Ultrasound coming SOON!  I'd tell you when, but I don't want to.  :)  Yep, I'm that mean.
 

Family Pictures 2012...sneak peek #1

We had an amazing time (sans millions and millions of mosquitoes) yesterday taking pictures with Alisha of Leeshy Lou Photography  .  She was very sweet and good to work with.  The boys did AWESOME!  Total cooperation.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven (again, sans the mosquitoes).  Her "magic potion" (besides being cute and fun)?  A Phineas and Ferb Pez candy dispenser attached to her camera which she would randomly open up and disperse among the restless natives.

Here are a few she has finished editing and posted on her FB page for those of you non-facebooker's to see (grandma's and grandpa's and a few uncles and aunts).

Ewwwww.....their kissing.  Get away as fast as you can.

See...told you they were cute. 

Can't wait until she is ALL done and we have 30 FABULOUS edited family photos.


 

Adventures in Okanogan

The move is done. Complete. We are SLOWLY settling in, emphasis on the word slowly!

Our disastrous first couple of days here totally slowed down my usual "putting up house" progress but things are finally starting to take shape.

After too much time in doors, I decided the kids and I needed to tackle a project outside.  Just so happens we had just such a project.

Leaves....LOTS OF LEAVES!  (the house has been vacant since last summer so last years fall's tree dumpings had been left decomposing in the yard until now.)

These 10 bags are from the front yard alone!  The back took another 6 or so.

The boys LOVED this part.  The house we lived in before didn't have a tree in sight.  I'll admit we have really missed out on the whole fall time playing in the leaves thing.  I don't think that will be an issue as long as we are in this house.  :)

 We've already spent plenty of $$$ on home improvement stuff, finished our first project (drywalling an unfinished wall in our storage room), and I've hung the first (and only so far) item on the wall.  I can't wait until we actually close on the loan and I can start paining and replacing animal "marked" (aka soiled) carpets.  :)

I thought I would share a little walking tour of the house for those of you who are interested (and have been asking for one). Come on over to YouTube to view.
 

Remedy for Homesickness...the Weepies

Let's go back a few years.

It was my first Christmas away from "home".  We had just moved away (for graduate school) 4 months earlier, I had just had baby #3 (Mini Rob) and I was homesick....terribly homesick.

That's when I heard THE song.  It played over and over again on TV (I think it was on a JC Penney commercial) and it was so bittersweet for me.  I fell in love with it instantly....it reminded me of "home" (who knows why)...but it made me excruciatingly sad at the same time (let's not forget the fact that I was severely chemically imbalanced (PPD) at the time).

I decided I had to have it...I don't remember how I discovered the name of it...but I searched and searched until I found it....and I did...on I-Tunes.

I cried as I wrote my sisters (I have four) an e-mail introducing them to my newest musical find and why it meant so much to me (it reminded me of them).

They all fell in love with it too.

Two days after Christmas, Roberto and I flew our little family "home" to Utah for a visit.  I was so glad to be home.  The warmth, love, and familiarity were just what I needed.  And I soaked it up.

Fast forward a few more days to New Years Eve.  The family is all gathered, enjoying one another's company, exchanging gifts, exchanging laughter (amidst a whole lot of noise).  An announcements is made...my sisters have a special gift for me.

Nat pulls out the guitar...the others gather close...and then she begins to play.

It's THE song.....MY song.  I was completely shocked...but not surprised...my sisters are just the BEST like that (not to mention, incredibly musically talented).  They had learned it....in such a short time....just for me.  To remind me of "home".  To remind me of how much I am loved and missed.  I cried.

I still cry, thinking about it.

My sisters are the BEST.  My family is the BEST.  I am truly blessed to come from such good folks.


This year...I'm not going "home" for the holidays....at all.  We were supposed to go for Thanksgiving.  But we didn't. 

I wish we had. 

I wish we could be there for Christmas, too.  But we can't.

So...to my family (all 37 of you (+2 on the way))....I say...

I LOVE YOU!  I MISS YOU!  THIS YEAR JUST WON'T FEEL THE SAME WITHOUT SEEING YOU!  

But....

for now....

At least we have The Weepies.

(can't tell you how many times I've listened to it already today...sniff, sniff).

Just one easy click!

G-McBabe's Baptism---July 9, 2011

I thought it was about time I started documenting our summer vacation.  It just seems like such a daunting task.  I hate digital cameras for that reason.  You just end up taking too many pictures.

Anyhow...I thought i would start with the highlight of our trip.  G-McBabe's Baptism.
G-McBabe was baptized (by his father) and confirmed (by his Grandpa G) a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on July 9, 2011.  It was a really exciting day not only because it was his baptism but his birthday as well.  He was surrounded by tons of family who love him and support him.  We are so proud of our G-McBabe for making such an amazing decision.  It just get's better from here.

Here are a few pics from the event....starting with my FAVORITE!

Typical G-McBabe--Mr. Silly Kung Fu guy

On the more serious side

Priesthood Holders

L to R: Uncle Andrew, Uncle David, Uncle Josh, Grandpa H

Daddy, G-McBabe, Grandpa G, Uncle Chad, Uncle Mario

The 4 Robert's

Robert L. (grandpa), Robert B. (dad), Robert O. (grandpa)

Robert G. (self)

 Our crazy little clan of Testosterone (and me)

Just the three of us

 Smoochy, Smoochy

(he looks terribly excited, yes?)

More typical G-McBabe

(this is generally the reaction we get when it's picture time.  He really was on his BEST behavior most of the time.)

that's why we love him so much.

My first baby is growing up WAY TOO FAST!

I can't believe he is 8.

 We love you!

Love,
Mom



Just one easy click!

These are a few of my favorite things...

Life is busy, busy, busy but I did take a few minutes to upload these cute video of my favorite men (big and little).

 Gabe on Mother's Day

 

Kian @ soccer practice

 

Isaac @ soccer practice

 

Cael @ soccer practice

 

My favorite BIG boy.  Isn't he so cute?

If you don't watch any video except this one...it's worth it.

 

Mother's Day 2011

I had a really nice day.  Rob played "super dad" and took care of EVERYTHING!  It was awesome.  All I asked for was a nap after church.  Turns out I didn't need one because Rob let me sleep in until 8:45AM.  I don't remember the last time I felt so well rested.  When I finally woke up I turned on some tunes by Hillary Weeks and heard the song "Who You Are" (here's a fun youtube version) which set a nice tone for the rest of the day.  I was supposed to teach Gospel Doctrine but someone else prepared the lesson too and I didn't have to teach (Happy Mother's Day to me!).  The kids were so darn cute (they each picked out a packet of flower seeds for me), and Roberto cooked some AMAZING pork chops for dinner (recipe here) AND cleaned up.  It was just a really good day.

I couldn't help but compare it to Mother's Day 2 years ago. 

Rob had just finished his Master's degree and we had attended his graduation the day before.  He FINALLY had a job after 9 months of unemployment and we were moving, in just a matter of weeks, to our new home here in the Tri-Cities. 

I should have been happy.  I should have been ECSTATIC (Rob was)! 

But I wasn't.  I was so low.  So utterly low. 

I had hit rock bottom.   

I was miserable...completely lost....without hope....and above all else, a HORRIBLE wife and mother.  You know those commercials that say "depression doesn't just hurt you, it hurts everyone around you?"  I used to balk at that.  Until I realized for myself it was true. 

My husband and children were suffering.  I knew it was bad.  I knew I was "ruining their lives" but I couldn't muster up enough "care" to do anything about it. 

That particular mothers day, I remember crying all day at church (you know, because the celebrate wonderful women/mothers and I certainly was NOT one of those).  I came home (or to Rob's parent's house because that is where we were living) and crying myself to sleep.  I slept for hours and didn't even care that I wasn't spending the day with my children.  It was horrible.  Truly horrible.

I'm so thankful for a Father in Heaven who was watching out for me.  He placed an amazing friend in my path who helped me finally accept what I was going through. She hounded me until I set an appointment with a doctor and checked up on me regularly, offering encouragement and support.

I'm so thankful for my BOYS!  My husband and kids, who definitely saw the worst of it, have stuck with me "through thick and thin" and our relationships are now flourishing, in spite of all the havoc reaped on them.  They are troopers.  That's for certain.  I couldn't have married a better man or been blessed with more resilient children (hopefully there will be not be any long lasting emotional scars).

My extended family was amazing too.  Having no real idea of what was going on (I hid it SO well for so long), they have rallied around me and been a constant support through this recovery process.

I'm thankful for my wonderful doctors and counselor who have not only supported me "chemically" but have lent listening ears and given me tools of "cope" and hope


Depression is SO real.  And it SOOOO stinks.

Despite what I thought, I could not have gotten here on my own.  I needed help.  It wasn't going to go away just because I wanted it to.

I thought I would never again feel the way I do.

I'm happy.  I'm content with my life.  There is hope for my future and the future of my family.  I love and care about my husband and children again.  I want to accomplish things again (Rob doesn't know what to do with me sometimes). 

I still have "low" moments.  I still have "upset and irritated" moments (I mean, really?  I have 4 boys!).  But for now the feeling of hopelessness, bleakness, blinding rage and anger are gone.


When people see me with my kids at the store they often ask,  "How do you do it?"  and I answer truthfully (laughing)...."I'm medicated."  That usually makes them laugh too and I say...."No....really....I'm medicated."

And for now, I'm SO grateful for it.

 

 

If you are suffering from depression or think you might be suffering from depression....don't wait to treat it.  I waited almost 2 years to seek help.  It was NOT worth it.  Here are some symptoms you may recognize.  Don't forget that ANGER/RAGE and ANXIETY can be signs.  It's not just "being sad." 

 

 

 

How was your mother's day?  Did you do anything fun?

Family Picture Faves!